Sunday, June 6, 2010

Restaurant Reviewing when Mature

I'm old-ish, I 'm European, I 'm gobby and I ruffle up the wrong way very easily. Would anything I say influence a) the restaurant or b) a diner's choice and experience? I'm not so sure. So I couldn't help but wonder, is restaurant reviewing in a small city like Perth something I should touch?

Cantina 663, Mount Lawley, Last night.

Tappas bars in Spain have the dishes on the counter near where the money changes hands ergo, well-lit and simply easy to see. That's why they work. Take a pawful and your glass of vino tinto to the corner of the bar and stand with your friends in the dark because you got to see the goods at point of sale. That's why they work.

I don't like waiters to hang their buttocks over my food when serving the adjacent table because the dining room designer has left such a narrow gulley between tables that the waiters are forced to stand sideways. - what can you do?#

I don't like it when the waiter drags his knuckles over my cutlery on my plate when he puts down new dishes - what can you do?#

I don't like it that the lovingly executed presentation of the poletna-crusted sweetbreads, the jamon croquettes ( not a good idea to serve them on oily pimento alioli, there is enough oily sweetness in side the well-flavoured croquettes which I am over-joyed to notice are just as wet and fragile as the ones I make) nor the gremolata prawns is obscured by the dreary gloom of the ill-lit dining room. - what can you do?*

I don't like it that the lighting is so dim I can't read the menu nor see the food from the feeble rays of the single tealight on the table - what can you do?*
The wait staff can't see the food either:- I am told that the mound of deliciousness accompanying the excellent duck liver parfait is quince paste when it is onion confit. Clarity in the dining room is needed, clearly

# answer - absolutley bugger-all: If you don't know you're doing this and you're still working then fergeddaboutit.

* answer - when you (well me, blogs are all me, me, me right?)bump in to the head chef on the way back from the powder room you can, because you are older and have more insurance (Thelma and Louise - do keep up) can tell him that his food is wonderful and much appreciated but he needs to tell the precious interior designer to spit out the style dummy and bite the common sense bullet and put some more light in the dining room.


I shall not be reviewing restaurants any more. Impossible to even put a toe in the shadow of Giles Coren and AA Gill. Plus these guys are doing a fine job here in Perth

1 comment:

  1. Oh but I would much rather read your reviews than poncey food critics I don't know. Please continue. Thank you.